Archive (3/5/2009): Behind every great woman...

...is an even greater man?

I am one of those self believing natural feminists who value not the idea of bra burning and radical revolution-like changes, but of the role women play in society, whether it be a 1950’s home maker or the successful deputy Prime Minister Julie Gillard. It is what they contribute to society which I value, classifying me as a feminist, but a more conservative one. But even I have to put my foot down when I see movies such as “The Women” and even “Sex and the City”, both of which are supposed to be about successful, independent women who don’t need the validation of men. But are they really?

Take for example, “The Women”. The film literally does not show a male until the closing scenes when a woman gives birth to a boy; there isn’t even a male extra in wide shots of the busy New York streets. The movie is supposed to be about women in power, not necessarily professionally, but in control of their lives, hence the reason no man was visible. But I could help but notice that the entire storyline revolved around men and how to get revenge, suck up to one at work or depend on one for the source of income for a young, flourishing family. No man was seen, but one was always present in their conversations, emotions, and all the basic motivation for the character’s actions. It showed women cut up over broken marriages, women desperately trying to cling to their youth as they run a cutting edge-fashion magazine under an idealistic male boss, women depending on the support of their husbands as they go through their fifth pregnancy in the hopes of finally being “blessed” with a boy. The same can be seen with Sex and the City; Powerful women who seek the presence of a man to complete them. It’s such bullshit.

I am a student who barely has time to see her friends, let alone have a boyfriend, so the time I dwell on men is very little, but I can’t help but wonder why it is most of my friends seek only that of a male companion. Is it so difficult to be satisfied with being narcissistic enough to actually be happy with whom you are without a man? We are surrounded by a culture, whether it be typical Australian or the culture Hollywood has instilled upon us (although these days the two have merged in the slow Americanisation of the world), that insists we not die alone and find someone to share our life with. Women who are 35 and single are seen as outcasts, looked down upon by society for being alone despite the fact they may have a blossoming career. I am 19, yet my own friends and family think I am the black sheep for not actually being interested in a relationship. Why should I? These are the best years of your life – I don’t want to have to live them with the lingering expectation of “something more” or “something completing”.

I also wish to mention a comment in my Political Journalism class made last week by a girl who raised the issue of Sarah Palin’s feminist beliefs. Overall, Palin was unclear over her answers, giving different responses each time she was asked of her feminist ideas, and this girl found that puzzling – is she one or not? Now I can understand fully why Sarah Palin was so hesitant about giving an honest answer – feminism is still a taboo subject in such divided societies as America. On the one hand she would be criticised by conservative men (and even women) over the liberal idea that women are the “master gender” if she were to answer in the affirmative (because of course all feminists are radical feminists), but one the other, more liberal people would criticise her for being too “conservative” and not appreciating the genders equally if she was to answer in the negative. Feminism has such a stigma attached to it; most people see feminism only as the radical extremists who go around bashing men, having sex with women and burning their undergarments because history has not taught them any better. So if I was asked the same question by the press, I would be hesitant to answer also – wouldn’t you? Like the old saying goes “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. If you label yourself a feminist these days, people will judge you for it.

I just think it’s time the judgement ends. We live in a society with freedom of speech and freedom of beliefs, yet a woman who freely speaks of her self-belief gets criticised. Modern Liberal democracies contradict themselves in many ways, but today, this one point just got to me.